Topsy Turvy
by Porcelain Maiden
Summary: Your standard modern Pride and Prejudice story-with a genderbending twist. Lucas Bennet is the second oldest son in his family, with a father who is determined that his children will marry their cousins and a mother who decides they are moving to Australia. There, the Bennets will encounter people and excitement they never would have guessed was coming.


It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that if you live in West Virginia, you will marry your cousin.

Lucas Bennet, though, had no such intention. Though his father constantly ragged on him.

"Lucas," he would say, looking up from the newspaper that had been thrown carelessly onto the driveway and stained with something brown and pungent that Lucas could smell from the table where he was eating his breakfast. "Lucas, when am I gonna get those granchildren we talked about?"

Lucas, being used to the monotony by then, would look up from his cold cereal with enough sugar to make a small child bounce off a few walls. "We never talked about any grandchildren, Dad." He would point out. "I don't even have a girlfriend, much less a fiancee."

His father would shake his head, narrowing his brown eyes on his son. Inevitably, Mr. Bennet's face would be tight, a graying eyebrow raised. "You know, kiddo, your uncle and I had a bet a while back. Whoever gets the grandkids first gets your granddaddy's rifle."

"Then couldn't you bug Jem about it? He's older than me." Lucas would patiently point out. Though he was getting less patient as time went on.

His father would seem to consider that. His face would crack into a grin that wouldn't touch his eyes, and his eyebrows were still furrowed. "Excellent idea, son. You can both get married! We'll have a double wedding. I think your cousins on your Momma's side are due to visit soon..."

And so was Lucas' morning that day. Instead of his usual answer of "that's nice, Dad," he hesitated before saying something else. "Dad, I'm not planning to marry any of my cousins."

His father's gaze had returned to his newspaper, but it shot up again when he heard that. "What are you talking about? Of course you will."

Lucas shook his head, glancing down at his mostly empty bowl as if the dregs of milk could somehow tell him what to say. "I, ah..." He paused, trying to think how to phrase it. "The idea of intermarriage doesn't appeal to me?"

His father's expression was tight and sour. He rolled up the newspaper, eyeing his second oldest son. "What are you talking about, boy?"

"I don't like incest?" Lucas suggested, cautiously moving his chair a bit away from his father.

The newspaper was crushed in Mr. Bennet's hand. "If its good enough for your mother and I, its good enough for you." He informed his son.

Lucas shook his head. "Dad, I'm not going to marry any of my cousins! And unless you 'hogtie' me up and carry me down to the alter, I never will."

Mr. Bennet considered that. He did have the proper tools to do just that... And with he and his brothers, Lucas didn't stand a chance.

Lucas recognized the look on his father's face. However, right at that moment his mother entered the room. She was followed by Lucas's brothers, Jem, then Mason, Kit, and Lyal. Lucas moved over a bit to make room for them, and greetings and punches to the shoulder were exchanged.

"What do you need us for, Mom?" Jem asked her, his voice barely loud enough to be heard over the sound of Kit and Lyal's discussion. They immediately shushed, however, at Mrs. Bennet's look.

Mrs. Molly Bennet was a short woman, but she was still intimidating to her multitude of sons. She took a deep breath in, letting it out as they waited, fidgeting.

"Well, out with it, Molly!" Mr. Bennet exclaimed.

Mrs. Bennet nailed him with a glare. "I'm getting to it, Leonard." She replied. She returned her gaze to her children. "We're moving."

Immediately, the boys were once again no longer silent. Questions like "where," "why," and "what about classes," flew through the air. Mrs. Bennet shushed them again with a hand in the air. She set her hand down on the table.

"We're moving to Australia."


End file.
